Disbelief
by Roses of Sharon
Summary: “You’re all wet,” she says, exasperated. “I don’t care if umbrellas aren’t macho enough for you, you should at least pretend to care about your health.” “Its not water,” he replies. SasuSaku. Complete.
1. Part One

Scowling, she pushed her door open halfway, paused, and slipped inside

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto. _

Summary: "You're all wet," she says, exasperated. "I don't care if umbrellas aren't macho enough for you, you should at least _pretend _to care about your health." "Its not water," he replies. SasuSaku.

Disbelief

Part One of Two

Scowling, she pushed her door open halfway, paused, and slipped inside. By force of habit, she picked her way across her front hall, easily choosing the non-squeaky floorboards, and then flicked the second switch in the panel as she stood on the floorboard directly to the left. The lights flickered on, and she impatiently tapped the top screw, forcing them to brightness.

She _really _needed to get rid of some of these traps. Honestly, she had just asked Naruto if he could create a few for her just in case she had to leave town for a few days, and next things she knew – _bam! _– her house was a virtual minefield. Complete with mines.

She walked up the stairs, carefully taking the steps in Fibonacci one through five – a Sasuke touch, one of a few he had added – and flicked the first light switch as she stepped on the second-to-last stair. The fluorescent light bulb flickered to life as she walked into the bathroom. Here, at least, she had no need to worry about traps once she stepped over the tripwire in the doorway, avoided eye contact with the right left corner of the ceiling, and didn't touch the window.

Standing in front of the mirror, she scrutinized her reflection, sighing. Late nights and early mornings were doing nothing for her complexion, and her eyes – _ugh. _Disgusting. Carefully, she washed her face, and then brushed her teeth. A swipe of night cream – meant for nine hours of sleep, but who really had time? – and she stepped quickly over the tripwire, crossing over another tripwire into her bedroom.

As she began to slip out of her clothing, she suddenly stiffened. A chakra signature in her kitchen, crossing up the stairs. Whoever it was must have memorized her… oh. She began to relax, and fixed her clothing. _Just Sasuke_. Briefly, in the moments before he entered her room, she wondered why he was there – and how long he had been there.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked, meeting him 78vin the doorway, "Why are you here? Oh, goodness, you're all wet! I told you," she added, grabbing a towel from a stack of newly-washed clothing, "You should carry an umbrella. I don't care if it's not _macho _enough for you…"

She trailed off, having reached up, only to find his hair startlingly dry. He chuckled, low and tired, "Its not water."

She drew back, gazing at him; then, as her eyes widened in consternation, she reached across him for the light switch, flicking it on as she pushed the bottom screw.

"Oh, shit, Sasuke-kun! You're bleeding on my tatami mats! Do you know how expensive those were? You had _better _have gotten paid well for that mission, because you're paying to have them cleaned," she said, her gentle motions and soft voice contrasting with her harsh words.

Quickly, she slit the shirt open with the kunai on her bedside table, hissing in shock. "Sasuke-kun! Why didn't you go to the hospital? How long have you _been _here?"

He started to shrug, aborting the movement when it became obvious that Sakura was holding an alcohol-soaked cloth in one hand. "I did go to the hospital," he said. "They told me you had already left."

Her gaze softened, and she bet down, cleaning the ugly gash across his midriff. Her voice muffled by her position, she suddenly spoke, "Could you hand me those bandages?" Sasuke glanced around, then grabbed the roll of bandaging off a table and placed it in her hand.

As his gaze returned to rest on the pinkette bent over him, it caught on a picture frame. It was solid black, so different from the soft silver-lavenders that dominated the room. The picture it held was very familiar to him. Rather, the scene was – her was not aware that a picture had been taken.

It had been at the Annual Cherry Blossom Festival, two years ago. She had been dressed in a white kimono, covered in whorls of red; he had found her dancing among the swirling cherry blossom petals, and he had stayed to watch, only for a while, it had seemed. But she turned and beckoned to him, and he shook his head and walked away.

"There," she suddenly said, breaking him out of his reverie. "That's done. And the next time you need something, Sasuke-kun, just come and find me. I wouldn't want you to _bleed _to death or something, just because I was out drinking or on a date or something!"

His dark gaze locked on to hers, "Dates?"

"Dates," she repeated, lifting her chin. Stupid overprotective teammates. If they had their way, she might as well become a nun.

"Anyways," she said, "I've mostly healed that. Just don't do anything too strenuous tonight, yeah?"

He seemed to still be staring at her. She shook her head, sighing, "Yes, Sasuke-kun. I do go on dates. I'm a woman, with hormones. And I occasionally need to get drunk. Anyways," she added dismissively, "it's not like I'm rich enough to turn down free food. And Lee-kun gets me cosmos."

She gestured toward the vase of flowers on her dresser, "The vase, I think, was a gift from Neji. He's so emotionally constipated; who gives a girl a vase?"

A quickly glance at Sasuke's blank face caused her to babble on, "Of course, it was full of flowers at the time. Long-stemmed blue-white roses, baby's breath, and some very nice pale green fronds. Crytalline-looking ones. Very pretty. Turns out, though," she rambled on, "that he was actually interested in Tenten. Pretty good for me, because…l" was he getting closer? Ah, shit.

"Because even though he's very pretty, he's not really my type," she continued. "_And _he took me to a really fancy restaurant – after buying me a Suzuki's dress, because I wasn't dressed properly. _Suzuki's! _And he walked me home and _everything! _ Tenten," she concluded, "is one lucky girl."

She blinked and back away – he was suddenly a little too close. "Um, yeah," she rambled. When in doubt, just keep talking. "Have you heard about Shikamaru and Ino? I did that. Shikamaru asked me out," she said, pointing to a pair of fans hanging over her bed. "He needed help with the whole Temari-Ino thing. Said these were a bribe from Temari, and he didn't want them around anymore."

Was it her, or did he look angry? Definitely just her – why would he be angry at her getting dates? Especially meaningless one where she tried to help emotionally constipated men get the women of their dreams? It wasn't as if he didn't… alright, he definitely didn't go out. She nearly snorted – for all she knew, he was asexual and planned on rebuilding his clan on his own. She pretended that that didn't hurt – that reminder that he could never love her back.

"Chouji," she suddenly said, a little too loudly. She lowered her voice and tried again. "Chouji," she said again. "Um… yueah. He actually asked if he could take me out tonight, but I told him you were getting back today and we might go get ramen with Naruto." She sent him a mock glare, "I was _not _expecting you to be _late _or _bleeding on my floors._"

Something flickered across his face, and finally, he spoke, "There was a time when you would have refused them all." _For me_, he added silently, and the words hung like mist between the two. His dark eyes burned into hers, and finally, she blinked, glancing away and tinkling mechanically, "Don't pretend you actually liked that, Sasuke-kun! I might even start again!"

Her forced smile faltered as he continued looking down at her. "Sasuke-kun?" she asked, hesitantly. "I was just kidding. I know you hated it when I was like that."

He blinked, once, as if clearing his head or waking from a dream. "Hn. Of course I did – who could possibly enjoy having an annoying girl hanging from his arm during training?"

She smiled bravely, just a little more broken, and turned away from him. "Yeah," she said, trying to keep her voice light and failing utterly. "Just rest up, alright? And… I'll see you and Naruto tomorrow. Good-night, Sasuke-kun. Turn the lights out on your way out."

She turned towards her bed and blinked hard, a single tear dropping to hit her sheets as the others were pushed away. She sniffed, acutely aware of the judgmental presence in her doorway. "Good _night_, Sasuke," she said. "Just… just go away, would you? I'm sure you don't like watching me be weak, after all."

He shifted, clearly uncomfortable and bound by some misplaced sense of duty. She had just opened her mouth to shoo him away when he said, "That's not what I meant." A bitter laugh came from her mouth, and she turned to face him. "Sasuke-kun," she said, "you always say what you mean."

His eyes narrowed, abruptly, and he flash-stepped closer to her. She blinked, rapidly, and took a quick step backwards, stumbling into her bed. A pale hand reached out to catch her, hauling her up so she was forced to look into his hard, glittering eyes. "You," he said, "are wrong."

She laughed, liking his touch more than she should. "Be carefully, Sasuke," she said. "You're starting to act like you care."

His eyes narrowed, "Have you not been listening to me?"

Struggling for kunoichi calm, she gazed up at him. "Yes," she replied. "You told me, essentially, that you think I'm either deaf or stupid. Because its perfectly obvious that you say exactly what you mean, all the time."

He let go, turning away and glaring at her wall. "You," he said as she watched, perplexed, "are so annoying." She blinked, and her mouth opened and closed several times. "Who are you to say, when you go on dates with every man who crosses your—"

A well-placed slap cut him off, "Is that what you think of me? That I'm… that I'm some kind of whore?" His eyes flashed, and she sputtered on, "Fine, Sasuke, jus tget the hell out of my house! I can't believe I ever liked you, you inconsiderate bastard! How could you…" her speech was dissolving into sobs, and she stepped up to him, shoving him into the tripwire across the door and slamming the door shut.

The whistle of sharp objects flying through the air on chakra strings failed to lessen her anger.

Naruto frowned, looking about the desert ramen stand. Where were Sakura-chan and temee? He sighed – that bastard had better not have done anything to Sakura-chan… actually, hadn't he said he was going to Sakura-chan's?

He called for another bowl of miso ramen, and quickly began gulping it down. It wasn't like either of them to be late; in fact, he could usually expect Sakura-chan to be early, and Sasuke-temee to be even earlier… oh! Standing, he waved excitedly to Sasuke as the man crossed the street.

"Hey, temee!" he cheered. "Where's Sakura-chan?"

Almost unnoticeably, a shadow crossed Sasuke's face, and he looked away. "How would I know?" he demanded, voice rough. Naruto took a careful look at his best friend, "Did you do something, Sasuke?" Annoyance crossed his face, and he suddenly snarled, "If you hurt Sakura-chan, I swear I'll –"

Sasuke interrupted him, "Did you know that Sakura goes on dates with _everyone_?"

Naruto took another look at the brooding Uchiha, before his anger became disbelief, and he burst into laughter. "Ooh," he mocked, "is dear _Sasuke-kun_ jealous?" The shinobi swiveled to glare at him, eyes bleeding red, "Of course not! I just wondered if you knew what kind of person your precious Sakura-chan was!"

Naruto glanced at him, expression melting back into disbelief, "You… you didn't happen to say that to _Sakura-chan_, did you?"

Sasuke didn't answer, preferring to glare into the cup of tea that now sat before him.

"Oh, God," Naruto whispered, causing Sasuke to toss him a sharp glance. "Sasuke, I think you'd better apologize to Sakura." Sasuke glared harder into the cup, Sharingan wheels spinning. "She… you've been away too often, bastard. I… there are some things…" he paused, running a hand through sun-bleached hair.

"Sasuke, Sakura's been through a lot lately, alright?"

Sasuke turned the spinning Sharingan gaze on Naruto, "_What happened?_"

The blonde ninja glanced around furtively, then leaned forward and whispered, "Remember that mission she had around the time she left for Cloud? The one she said was just a quick spin for herbs in Sand? She went to that crazy Village out in Orange Country. It was a kunoichi mission."

Sasuke's fists clenched. That Village was notoriously chauvinistic, training women exclusively for kunoichi missions – and extremely susceptible to those same kunoichi.

Naruto's voice cut through the haze, "She… Sakura-chan came back pregnant. She wanted to keep the baby, but something happened, and…"

Sasuke had fallen silent, images – retained for months by his perfectly tuned Uchiha memory – rising to the surface to be reconsidered and judged. They way she shied away from him when he had first come back from Cloud. How she refused to eat oranges anymore. The look in her eyes as they traded stories of their missions. The less-than-momentary flash in her eyes when he asked how hers had gone. The bright, tinkling laughter, so unlike her.

His hand slipped into his pocket as he stood, slowly, robotically; he dropped a thousand-yen note on the counter, turned, and left. Naruto stared after him for a moment, then finished his ramen, smiling. If Sasuke screwed up, then he'd just beat him in training tomorrow. If not, then it was all good.

At least the bastard had paid.

Sasuke paced down the street, slowly and deliberately, like a hunter who knew exactly where his prey was. His mind, though, swirled with half-completed thoughts. _Why had Sakura…? When did this…? Why hadn't anyone…? Who had…?_

And most importantly, _Why hadn't he been there? _

He slowed, almost imperceptibly. Why did this matter so much to him? Sakura was… Sakura was just _Sakura_, and she… Just Sakura, he decided.

…But why, then, did he want to rip apart whoever had done this to her?

They were teammates. Far more than reason enough to be… protective.

There couldn't be anything more to it that that… He paused, leaning against a wall and rubbing his temples. Suddenly, his black eyes flew open, and he thought, almost panicking, _What if she _is _more? _Slowly, he reached for the truth, almost too frightened to see it when he got here.

Oh, God. He loved her. On principle, he refused to call on or believe in a higher being. This, though, was more than worth the shedding of pride.

The irony was almost enough to choke him – _why? _Why had it taken him so long to figure it out? Was it too late now, to win her back?

And then a wave of hurt, _She doesn't believe I care. Haven't I shown enough that I care? _

Turning, he stalked down the street. What right did she have to keep this from him? Didn't she _trust _him, at least? Granted, he had left her once, but hadn't he made up for that? Hadn't he been here since?

He hadn't.

He realized that now, recognized what he had been doing for years as running and hiding – unwilling to face his friends, afraid that they, too, would leave him, he had taken far too many missions. He hadn't been here for her at all, he realized.

He paused in front of her door, unsure how to bridge this gap between them, and knowing that he had to try. It was his turn now, and he had let her spend too much of her life chasing after her. He owed it to her to try – Uchiha's Honor.

The door opened before he could make a decision, and her pale face glanced out. "Sasuke-kun," she murmured. "Look, I'm really sorry about missing lunch with you guys, but I'm just feeling too good today, yeah? I'm sorry about yesterday; I'll pretend you're sorry about yesterday, and you can just leave your sense of duty somewhere else and let me sleep."

She moved to shut the door, and he quickly slipped his foot through, "Sakura," he said, almost pleading, "I'm sorry." She blinked at him, tired, and he sighed, "Sakura… _please._"

Slowly, she opened the door to the halfway point and let him in, leading him to her kitchen. "Tea?" she asked him, lethargically. He nodded. "Sakura," he said. "Naruto told me."

She stiffened, nearly spilled a drop of tea on her counter. "Told you what?"

He replied, watching her carefully for the reaction he knew would come, "He told me about your baby."

The tea cup shattered on the floor, the amber liquid spilling. Pale-knuckled fingers gripped the edge of the counter. "Oh," she replies, her voice completely at odds with her posture. "That's nice."

"No," he says, as casually as he can. "That's not nice at all." She is wary, watching him even as she reaches for a cloth. "In fact," he adds, "I think that it is distinctly _not nice_."

Carefully, she kneels – not in front of him, never in front of him – and begins to wipe the spill. He watches for a moment, fingernails digging into his palms. "Sakura," he says. His voice shakes, and he pauses for a moment to fix it, glaring into the ceiling, "Sakura, look at me."

She stares at the ground, unmoving, and he wonders again where _his _Sakura went – his Sakura who was beautiful and bright and alive, and who is this stranger who comes in her place?

But he looks down at her and knows that this is his fault, too. That he can blame himself, and that makes him all the angrier. _Why won't she trust me_, he thinks, and it hurts more than anything and he finds himself opening his mouth and _snapping_, "Damn it, Sakura, I know I left you but I came back and I did everything the Hokage told me to and it was all for you, and now you don't even acknowledge my presence and you won't tell me anything, and maybe I haven't been around but I'm _trying_, and, fuck, why won't you just _look at me!_"

He's startled her, he sees, and he's almost sorry for a split second, but she's looking at him with fire in her eyes, almost as brightly burning as it once did, and he thinks it was worth it.

"_You're not here for me_," she bites out, and he begins to doubt. "_You're not ever here when I need you and you dare to blame it on me?_" He begins to open his mouth, begins to tell her that he's not blaming it on her, but she rages on, as if she's kept this inside her for far too long, and there's no turning back now, "Don't you dare tell me it was all for me, Sasuke. It was all for you. It was _always _all for you. Everything you've ever done has been for you and your stupid pride and your damn family that I bet wouldn't want you to be this way, and you _left _and you didn't come back for me, you came back for yourself, so don't you dare tell me it's for me."

She's breathing harder now, and he sees the fire in her eyes dim, and she looks back down at the floor, picks up the edge of the teacup.

For a moment, he believes. For a moment, he thinks that he could walk up to her and hold her and he thinks that he could make her believe that _yes, it was all for her_, but no.

Instead, he turns and walks out of the house.


	2. Part Two

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto. _

Summary: "You're all wet," she says, exasperated. "I don't care if umbrellas aren't macho enough for you, you should at least _pretend _to care about your health." "Its not water," he replies. SasuSaku.

Disbelief

Part Two of Two

He tries to pretend that nothing happened, after that, and she seems just the slightest bit relieved by it, throwing herself into her role with a gusto he once could have admired. Could still admire, if it wasn't directed toward him.

But it is, and so he hates it, just a little bit. Not her, because he could never hate her. But he hates it, as he has hated nothing since _That Man_. Since _Him. _Since _Itachi_. Sakura and Naruto would disagree – they hate Orochimaru, nearly as much as Sasuke hates Itachi.

But they don't know how to hate, and Sasuke does, and he has practiced in it, and they can never hate quite as much as he does.

So he manages to go on, nodding at her when she waves to him, smiling when she isn't looking, being willingly dragged to team dinners. And he thinks that this might be enough.

He's not very at loving, and he knows this. Knows his failure. But for her, he thinks he could have, would have tried. And it _hurts_, it does, every time they cross paths and he sees the look in her eyes – _dead, dead, dead_ – and he wants to… to do something. To hold her tight and never, ever let go; to protect her from everything that has ever happened to her, and everything that ever will.

And two things stop him.

One is that she would no longer let him. She is strong, now; she believes in herself. She doesn't think she needs him. (And maybe she doesn't, but he sure as hell needs her.)

The other is that he no longer has the right.

Once, he had the right to step in front of her and take that kunai and quell the flames and block the glares that come roaring in her direction. But who is he to do that now? He, who has not been here for her, has never been here for her, and cannot love her like she deserves to be loved?

He, walks out of the house, out of the way, into his comfort zone – because he cannot stand to see her cry, and never could? Because he cannot stand the blow to his pride, cannot lower his own barriers to hold her and comfort her and be what she needs?

_You're not here for me_, her voice chimes in his head, and he could almost cry as he walks down the busy street. _You're not ever here when I need you_. And he wants to tell her that it's not true, that he has always been here, and that he will always be here, and that he _promises_.

But it's not quite worth it. Because he knows it's not true, and he could never lie in her face, not in front of those warm-cold-hot green eyes.

Failure rides heavy on his shoulders as he treads the path up the hill and down it again, past the libraries and halfway through the park. There is a person sitting on the bench. The Bench, he thinks, with capital letters. Briefly, he ponders the advisability of causing The Bench to spontaneously combust.

When he gets closer, he realizes that that would have been a bad idea. Instead, he sits down next to his teammate – love of his life – and inconspicuously looks at her.

She is tired, he realizes. Very, very tired. And not just the tiredness of training and healing, but tired down to the bone.

For a moment, he considers placing his arm around her shoulders and letting her rest, but instead he says, "Sakura." Her eyes jerk open and she looks immediately at him. Impressive reaction time, he thinks, as her hands slip down her legs to her weapons pouches.

"Sasuke," she says, a moment later, and doesn't relax. He thinks this hurts, a little bit. But all he does is open his mouth and tell her what he's needed to since he walked out of her house all those days ago. "I have a mission."

"Oh," she murmurs, and she does relax, slumping forward a little bit and looking so utterly defeated that he's tempted to tell Hokage-sama that he can't do it. "How long," she asks.

"I'll be back in two weeks," he says, and she nods and stands. "Good luck," she tells him, and smiles a little bit too brightly. She looks like she wants to add something else, but then she just widens her smile and waves goodbye to him over her shoulder. "Ramen tonight, alright?" she calls, and he nods, even though she can't see him. She'll know.

She's Sakura.

She knows.

But not enough, he thinks. And not everything. Because if she knew everything, then he wouldn't be sitting here alone.

Minutes after he leaves, the bench explodes. The reason is something they all suspect, since there were quantities of civilians and shinobi alike who would have sworn that they saw Uchiha Sasuke walk away from the site with a rare smile on his face. And maybe Tenten has hints of evidence, and maybe the ANBU bomb experts would have, but no one thinks to call them in, and Tenten…

Tenten would never lie to her Hokage for Sasuke, but as long as she is not asked, she will say nothing.

That night, at dinner, she sits between Naruto and Sasuke – _her boys_ – and orders a miso ramen despite the ungodly amounts of sodium she is certain is in it. She eats half of the noodles and drinks half of the soup, and then the bowl is passed to Naruto, as it has always been, as she begins on her sake.

It is a habit of her shishou's. Naruto doesn't drink, and Sasuke has a mission in the morning, but she can. She has alcohol tolerance sky high with practice, and by the end of the evening, she is only just barely tipsy.

Tipsy enough that, when Sasuke walks her home, she leans up and places her hands on his shoulders and kisses the corner of his mouth. He doesn't push her away, not for a long while, but when he does she smiles up at him knowingly – _sadly _– and walks into her house.

It is what it is, and he is what he is. In the morning, she will be sorry she ever tried, and maybe she will cry about it.

But for now, she will just be happy that she got that much from him.

She doesn't sleep in the next morning, despite how much she wants to. Instead, she slides silently and effortlessly from sleep into consciousness, and lies in her bed dreaming of the latter.

She staggers out of bed and makes herself a cup of steaming coffee and sits with it at her small kitchen table, watching the steam rise from the black liquid. This is what failure feels like, she thinks, and then she changes her mind.

She has felt failure, and it is not this – failure is losing, and forcing yourself to get back up and train and work and study so that next time, next time you do not fail.

This is not failure, this is destruction; slow, slow destruction, lit like a flame from a spark.

My son, she thinks, softly. I would have named him Chrno, time, because that is what I would have given him – what he would have given me. And she is brought back once more into the nightmare, the fallen dream that has haunted her all these nights.

It all started with a mission. Everything starts with a mission, now; so it has always been for shinobi, and so it will always be.

Such a simple mission, she decides for the umpteenth time, and swirls her coffee in her cup. Simple espionage, with a bit of seduction mixed in. If only…

She smiles, a little bit brokenly, and wonders how many more times she will say that before she forgives herself for it, truly.

If only she hadn't been so foolish.

If only she hadn't taken the drugged drinks he had so calmly handed her.

If only she hadn't left the antidote in her bags.

If only, if only, if only…

It is too late now to wish that something else could have happened, but she had never dreamed that so simple a mission could have ended like that – a low A-rank mission, at most, and she should have been able to take it – what else was her training for?

All those years of work, tossed aside like garbage in the face of overwhelming underestimation of her opponent – she had been prepared to seduce him, perhaps even to have sex with him, but to be raped…

She shudders, the memory of the moment swamping over her in that instant; the scent of his body, his panting, his fat, flabby skin, his graying, thinning hair… It had been terrible, horrible, and that someone such as he could have overtaken her! Her, the Godaime's apprentice, who was granted a full page of the bingo book!

And then she snaps out of it, tossing the cold coffee back and slamming it onto the table. _No_, she thinks furiously. _No, I will not give him the satisfaction of crying. He is _dead_, I killed him. I avenged myself. I avenged my son._

And her hand drifts protectively to her empty womb, and she feels like weeping all over again – if only, if only – she would have given anything to be able to keep her child, no matter whose it was.

Sasuke comes back in a week and three days, and he is vaguely unsurprised when Naruto corners him and tells him to _look after Sakura-chan, dammit!_ It isn't surprising anymore, that even Naruto can notice what is wrong with his team, when it is so glaringly obvious.

And so he goes to her house and sits with her and drinks her tea and asks her, subtly, how she's doing. And she smiles far too brightly and pours tea for him and rambles on about her day at the hospital and training, and not at all answering his question.

It doesn't really work for them, but its close enough. Sasuke likes to know that she's okay, and Sakura likes to know that he cares.

And then Naruto goes and requests a mission for them – for _Team Seven_, he insists when she suggests a solo mission, or maybe just him and Sasuke, or adding Sai – just for _my team_.

And so they go on a mission together, the first in months, to Tea.

The mission goes well – as well as can be expected. Sakura causes a few earthquakes, Sasuke still revels in lightning storms, and Naruto creates ten million of himself while keeping relatively fine control of the Kyuubi.

It is on the way home that trouble comes, and then mostly in the form of several high-classed shinobi who seemed supremely unconcerned with the unfairness of odds of eleven to three.

And Sakura shatters the ground and there are somehow Naruto manages to create so many of himself that the odds seem almost fair, and Sasuke reaches for his kunai pouch – and then they come, and Sakura realizes that they are so outclassed it is _this close _to impossible, Sasuke's pride refuses to let him back down, and Naruto has red eyes.

It is a while after this revelation that Sakura realizes something very important – that she is not wounded at all, and that both her boys are; that Sasuke seems to be staying very, very close to her – right by her side, really – and engaging the same opponents she is. That he is watching her back, like a teammate is supposed to, but almost obsessively.

And then she is furious, and later they think that maybe that is what allows them to win – but winning is nothing. It is getting home that is hard, and they are all secretly grateful when they stumble upon the border patrols and are escorted home by them.

Naruto is healed by the next day, courtesy of the Kyuubi; Sakura, protected by Sasuke, was sufficiently healed within two.

It is Sasuke that worries her, and it is, at last, that worry that drives her to his bedside, no matter how much she wants to avoid him until he is _feeling better_. She tells herself this virtuously as she walks (runs) past his room – but eventually she manages to talk herself into walking in, and it is there, not on the battlefields four days ago, that she faces the most frightening moments of the month.

When she first walks in, he is lying so still, so pale, that she thinks for a minute that, if not for his shallow breathing, she would believe him dead.

And then he opens his eyes and looks at her, truly _looks_, and she thinks she sees the same worry that has haunted her waking hours in his dark eyes. She thinks, in that moment, of the way he hovered over her during that battle – so overprotective, so possessive, as though he owned her and had paid for her and did not want a single scratch on her for fear that she would lose her value.

And he opens his mouth, pauses, and shuts it again, and she takes the chance to _attack._ _The best defense is a good offense_, she thinks righteously, and she asks him exactly what he was going to say.

"What, Sasuke, hm? I train for years upon fucking years to get you back, and now you're back, and now what? You can't trust me to take care of myself? You can't believe that I'm anything but a helpless little girl? Well, I'm not okay?

"I've changed – I don't need you to stand between me and every jutsu, every fucking kunai! Because guess what! I've survived all these years without you, and I can do it again!"

This is a lie, but the words that have been bottled up inside her are finally coming out, after far too long, with the force of volcanic explosions and tidal waves.

"No," he says from the hospital bed. "No."

"What do you mean, 'no'?" she pleads furiously.

He's trying to sit up now, and he's stubborn enough to keep trying long after he's discovered that he can't, and so she helps him up, jerking him forward and watching the expression on his face. She turns back to her chair, wanting to sit down and cross her legs and arms and _glare _at him.

His arm shoots out, and she hears his voice behind her.

"No," he says, tiredly. "I'll always be here, now. My life… it isn't worth anything anymore, except as an Uchiha. I can die. I've accomplished my goals."

She freezes, listening raptly to his rasping voice.

"But you… I think… I think, if you died, it would have killed me."

She freezes, and then, haltingly, as though he has passed a test, she asks him if she can tell him a true story. He doesn't nod, and he doesn't say anything in response, but she tells him anyways – she tells him of a girl who underestimated her opponent and paid for it in blood and innocence and pain. She tells him of her son, and how he died before he ever lived, and she tells him that it _hurts, goddammit, it hurts so much_, and he takes her in his arms for the first time in his life and holds her and lets her cry, and she thinks this is the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for her.

Because sure, he's emotionally constipated; sure, he'll never bring her flowers for the sake of it or get drunk with her and stay up with her all night to watch fireworks, but he'll do his best, and she'll try to make it enough.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

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So this is, really, a full page and a half shorter than the first chapter, and probably much less original and such – I apologize. I assure you that I tried, and I know that it is horrible of me, seeing as how there has just been _so much _support for this story – as compared to most of my other stories, anyhow. And so I would like to thank you all, very much; I suppose it would be a little much to ask that you spend a few minutes telling me how I did, despite its length/lack thereof?

I would also like to thank **Annabel Kim** for helping me during my rather long bout with writer's block. She helped me quite a bit with figuring out the story of Sakura's mission, which, I am ashamed to say, I had not really thought of in detail at all. So much thanks goes to her.

I would also like to thank _Hazel Lin, iigaken, Yukina Yukimura, TooGood2BeTru, and kimmlp, Hianshinsu, aNdreaa, cRaZyGuRl093, lein-kenkoishii, somebrokenhearts, starshin3, Eleora, EmeraldEyes69, Heaven's Cataract, Ishasuke Mitochi, ItaKure, Keelah.Crmn, Tenshi-Chan008, Keira U., KrAzI JaY, YinYang-Animal, kt.1z.awesome, lilstrummergrl527, runwithskizzers, _and _xXdevil-in-disguiseXx_ for their story alerts and favorites. Thanks also _artemis-the-black-cat_, _riverbreeze_, _Requiem of my Odium_, _Sasupe 1_, _The-Trapped-Phoenix_, _BuBBly CaNis luPis_, _x0x0xRaina-himex0x0x_, _Neon Genesis_, _a thousand cranes_, _Sakura Haruno-Uchiha/Sasa_, _qqq102_, _les-laisons-dangereuses_, _Superhinata_, and _Kacau Chocolate _for their reviews. Thanks to _fanonizer _and _slstmaraudersjple_ for adding this story to their C2s. I apologize in advance for any mangling of usernames.


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